It’s the Little Things: The Small Ways Your Partner can Make You Feel Loved

Hi there! I’m Christina, a mom of two littles, a licensed mental health therapist, and a soon-to-be children’s book author! Thanks for checking out my site. Look around! Besides this helpful article on the little things that can make the difference in your marriage, I’m sure there’s something for you!

When love is written about or portrayed in film, it is often exemplified by a grand gesture.

A spontaneous trip, a brand new car, a giant diamond, a choreographed proposal with all the friends you’ve ever known dancing to the soundtrack of your favorite song in the whole world — this is what we are made to believe love is.

We are told the big things, not the little things, mean love.

While all those things are wonderful (and believe me, I’d certainly feel the love) they are not super realistic and certainly not frequent.

Relationship-sustaining acts are often not the big things.

If you’re feeling the “seven year itch”, read these 7 tips to strengthen and fortify your marriage!

It’s The Little Things

When I think about what makes me feel most loved, it’s the little things that matter most. My husband and I do several things for each other daily to show the other that we continuously care.

In the morning my husband will make himself tea, and he always either makes me one too, or he gets my mug and tea bag ready so that all I need to do is pour in the hot water.

He has learned that if he does go ahead and makes my tea, he should put it in a travel mug so that it’s actually still hot when I get to it! #momlife

In our house, whoever brushes their teeth first loads up the other’s toothbrush with toothpaste. It may seem insignificant, but it shows thought as well as the care to make the other person’s life just a tiny bit easier.

Even if we are arguing and not pleased with each other, I know when I go to brush my teeth, he will have already set me up, or visa versa.

I could give you a list of all the little things my sweet husband does for me to show his love and to make me feel loved, but our interactions are not representative of the greater whole.

I asked some mamas what the little things are that make them feel loved in their relationships.

…And the answers flew in!

The Little Things, Love Language Style

Seeing as there are so many amazing answers from wives around the world, I have broken them down into categories, based off of The 5 Love Languages.

If you haven’t heard of the love languages before, you need to check them out. There are books on the matter in regards to friendships, marriage, the parent/child relationship, and even in the workplace!

Small gifts:

• I love fresh flowers, so my husband makes it a point to pick up flowers from the grocery store on his way home from work every Friday. My little boys have watched this happen their whole life and now love to bring me fresh “flowers” they pick on walks. — Jill Sharitt Pokorny
• When he buys me surprise chocolate! Every once in a while he’ll buy me a chocolate bar when he runs into the gas station or sometimes I’ll ask for one and he buys me two. — Jessica Skelton
• I just like knowing that he thought about me. Whether it’s a simple text, acknowledging something I did for the family that day, or sending me a surprise in the mail! — Josephine Anderson
• As a work-at-home mom with little children that haven’t started school, a few hours to myself is a blessing. He is an absolute miracle when he takes the kids out and gives me some time to myself. — Saranya Ramanathan

Kind words:

• I love when my husband texts me during the day from work. Just little things, to ask how my day is going or to say hi :). It always makes me smile to know he’s thinking about me during the day, even after 8 years together. — Suchot Sunday from https://thecuriousfrugal.com
• My husband and I have been married 31 years. Every day of our marriage he has told me I’m beautiful! He gave up a job he loved to care for our son who has severe autism…true, sacrificial love. — Cindy Henson from https://cindyseaton.com
• My husband encourages me to feel good and look good even though I am momming full time. He lets me shop as much as I want. — Tessa Rosemary from https://businessboutiquey.weebly.com/shop.html
• My husband is so proud of all my hard work on my small business. Every chance he gets he talks about how great I’m doing. It totally embarrasses me and makes me feel good at the same time. — Ashleigh Allman from www.smartcentsmom.com
• My fiance and I will be laying there and he will look at me and tell me that he wishes he could absorb me. Makes me feel super loved. He lets me rest when I’m having a fibromyalgia flare up and will take care of my four and our one without batting an eyelash. He’s always making sure I’m ok. — Jessica Mackabee from www.healthierlifestylechanges.com
• My husband always says he loves me every day at least once. He’s so much better about being affectionate than I am. He also always volunteers to run out and get whatever it is I need at the moment even if it is something last minute and late at night. So he doesn’t just say it he demonstrates it by putting me first a lot of the time. — Brooke DiFormato from www.sassysmartandsimple.com
• It seriously makes my day when my husband leaves me notes. It can be just a quick “I love you” left on the fridge or a heartfelt letter. Words of affirmation are my primary love language so when he writes how he feels about me it makes me so happy. I have a whole stack of love notes from him that I’ve saved over the years. I keep them in our fireproof safe because they mean so much to me. — McKinzie Bean from https://momsmakecents.com
• Although he usually calls in the morning while I’m getting breakfast for the kids, my husband leaves the sweetest voicemails. They usually start with: “hey sexy wife…” or something to make me smile. He always tells me to have a good day and says he can’t wait to see me when he gets home. Definitely helps my day get started right! — Aimee Mielke from Mommybabylife.com

Sweet gestures:

• Love it when my hubby brings me coffee from the kitchen in the morning, it’s a treat when it happens and very thoughtful. As a mom of 3 littles I also feel very loved when he lets me sleep in on a weekend day, as well as when he brushes the kids teeth at night so I’m off the hook. Acts of service big time here! He knows I’d rather him help me out than buy me things, and that has been learned over the years by talking about what makes us feel loved! — Liz from https://blueandhazel.com
• It’s silly, but I love it if my husband brings me home an ice cream or if he tags me in something on Facebook. It tells me that he’s thought about me. — Brittany Bertolozzi-Vantrease from figuringitout101.com
• I love when my husband takes my car, gets it washed, vacuumed and fills up my gas tank — Melissa Sanchez-De La Rosa from https://heytheremelissa.com
• I normally take my own lunch to work and have a big bottle of water to sip on all day, so my husband will fill up my water bottle every night and make me a salad to eat for lunch just like I like it! He knows that in the evenings I am rushing around trying to get a long list of things done, so he started doing this on his own without my asking for help (you know, sometimes it’s hard to ask for help!). It’s really a relief to have a healthy lunch all ready to grab in the morning instead of picking out a frozen dinner. One less thing to stress about and it helps me get to bed earlier! — Robin from https://reinventingrobin.com
• He always brings in my coffee just how I like it without asking and whenever I do dishes he comes and hugs me from behind and says, “Best mom ever”. — Breanna Park from messybunsandmomjeans.com
• There are many little cute things my husband does the entire day. If I get up a bit late, he takes care of the breakfast and I simply cant live without the morning tea he makes for me. He knows that if I sleep during day time, I can’t sleep at night, so he would call me around 4.00 pm when I feel lazy and tired so that I don’t sleep. If he manages to come early then I get evening tea with snacks. He puts my son to sleep so that I could work on my blog. Thank you for doing this roundup, I could now appreciate him a little more. — Pooja Malkani from https://colossalumbrella.com
• He always gives me the bigger half, the last bite or the better piece of anything we are sharing. — Stephanie Shuman from Justasiamnow.com
• On Saturdays he has a morning with the kid so I can sleep in, he doesn’t wake me until TEN AM (unless I ask him for earlier) and brings me coffee when he does! — Kerriann Kogelmann
• There are so many little things that my husband does everyday. If I am not feeling well some day or do not feel like cooking, he will cook new and interesting recipes for me. He knows what I like to eat and he alway select recipes with my favorite ingredients. — Chhavi Argarwal from mrsdaakustudio.com
• When he does the dishes. — Erin Jimenez from www.storybookerin.com
• Any time my husband leaves the room or gets up to do something for himself, he asks me, “Is there anything I can do for you?” Sometimes I don’t need anything, but sometimes I ask him to make me some food or take the baby for a few minutes so I can pee first before he starts doing whatever he’s about to do. Sometimes I’ll tell him, “Not right now, but sometime this evening, I’d like some time to write.” My love language is acts of service, so it makes me feel so loved when he makes sure I have everything I need before he tends to his own needs. — Jalina King from https://thissideofif.com
• I am a SAHM. He takes my little boy to the park every evening just so I can have some time to myself at home. I appreciate this so much. Mom life can be daunting at times given all the hard work we put in all day long. I use that hour for some self care, anything I love doing, even if it means sipping my coffee out on the porch. Helps me keep my sanity. He also cooks on Sunday mornings and serves breakfast in bed to me with a good book to read. We spend some time together and later when my son wakes up, he takes care of him till I am ready to start my day. These mom breaks are so essential to the life of a SAHM. — Neha from www.thebeautifulmama.com
• When my husband takes the boys out to the playground (we have 4 yr old twin boys) after he gets home from work, I know he’s thinking about what I need (a break) after a long day! –Katie Mauro Landry from ahundredaffections.com
• My husband woke up early to BAKE me a birthday cake yesterday! — Colleen Mason from www.facebook.com/makingmasons
• If my husband gets out of bed early, he tucks his sheet and blanket around me so I won’t get cold. He tells me he’s concerned that I’m working too hard. He offers to drive to my dad’s house instead of meeting halfway. — Karen Clark Salinas from https://rebalancewellbeing.com
• My hubs will cook, straighten, clean, do laundry, and the outside stuff too…all because we are a partnership.  Oh and he irons, not me! But also, my hubs makes me feel extra lucky when he takes the kids outside to do things that interest them.  He is an all-around great guy! On special occasions, I get to choose…my fav activities: antiquing and dreaming at the garden center :)!!!  So blessed! — Caroline Cardwell from https://abundancetribe.net
• I love that my hubby tells our 7 and 4 year old girls a made-up bedtime story each night before bedtime. He always includes little bits of the day into the story to make it really include them as the princesses. He also surprises me with a full tank of gas in my car when it is low so that I don’t have to pump it myself and always parks the car “backwards” in the garage so I can pull straight out. — Kim Bagley from https://organizedhomeschool.com
• My husband always picks up the dog poop in the yard the morning our landscaper comes. I literally never do it. That means so much to me. He also (goes overboard) but if I ask for something sweet he brings me a whole candy store to choose from. He puts away my laundry because he knows I hate doing that part, he always picks things up at the store for me because I work from home and can’t be bothered to put clothes and makeup on to go to the store and he always gets me my favorite coffee creamer, and he gets up most Sunday mornings with our son so I can sleep in a bit. This is my absolute favorite because I get up early with him every day. I’m pretty lucky!! — Amanda Davlia from www.thewanderfulmom.com
• Even though our mornings can be quite crazy, my husband will make me coffee just the way I like it without even being asked. He also tells me he appreciates how hard I’m working. — Gina Morris from www.stepstoself.com
• I absolutely love the fact every night after the kids are tucked in and I am in bed catching up on my blog, my person makes me a cup of tea. And every Saturday he fills my car with gas, checks my water and oil levels and pumps my tyres. — Simone Phillips from https://11yearsofnappies.video.blog
• My love language is acts of service so when my husband vacuums, gets me water, takes the kids outside, or runs an errand for me, I just love it! — Michelle Purta from https://michellepurta.com
• I went overseas for two months with my kids (3 and 1 1/2) and I had to take 2 flights. Total travel time was l about 24 hours. He went with me for a week so that I do not have any issues while traveling with kids and he came again to take us with him back home. He arrived the same day we had to go back. It was a huge help. I cannot thank him enough. The best thing about him is that he would always help me with the kids if we are on the go, just to make ME feel comfortable. That definitely means a lot. — Madiha Aslam from www.Rainbowdesire.com
• I work full time as an 8th-grade math teacher and the one thing that sticks out more than anything else is this. I was having a hard time working and being away from my baby. He was putting our baby to sleep at the time because he works 10 hours a day and that was one of his only times to be with the baby. He knew I was really upset and he started to insist that I rock the baby at night. It sounds kind of silly and not that big of a deal when I write it out but I’m almost in tears thinking about it. — Mackenzie Peter
• My husband makes breakfast every weekend so I can stay in bed a little longer and rest, and in Saturday he makes salad for lunch so I can stay healthy, he is also an excellent father and son!! — Chuchi Sady from https://ultrasoundfeminsider.com/blog-posts-1/
• He always shares his snacks with me, even if it is his all time favorite. And he reminds the kids that I get a break sometimes too (like when they want to follow me to the bathroom.) It doesn’t always work, but it helps to know he sees what I deal with. — Kimberly Cartwright from Team-Cartwright.com
• Gosh so many little things my hubby does… He knows I don’t like getting into a cold car in the mornings so he’ll surprise me by making room in the garage and park the car inside. He’ll let me sleep-in anytime I ask him to take the kids in the morning. He leaves earlier for work and I’ll come downstairs to a cup of coffee already made for me. He’ll come upstairs at night with a cup of water for me because he knows I get thirsty. Just a bunch of little stuff like that. — Marian Nguyen from https://PreparaMom.com
• Hubby calls me from work every day (no matter how busy he is) to check in on me and baby. It makes the hard days less lonely, even if it’s a 5 min chat. — Veronika Veale from Wifemumworkplay.com
• As the quote says -“great things happen with a series of little things are put together”. I believe, strong relations gradually build with small acts of love. And, I must say, I’m blessed to have Kumar as my husband. He’s super cool, fun-to-be-with, and extremely helpful. There are many things he does for me. From laundry to cooking he helps me in most everything. — Swati Chalumuri from https://hearmefolks.com

Loving touches:

• He rubs my feet, neck, or back randomly while we are watching tv or talking on the couch. Especially if he knows I’ve had a long day. That makes me feel loved and cared for. — Sara Kaecker from ourkindofcrazy.com
• Recently, I really let myself go. Thanks to sickness and some struggles with depression, I didn’t brush my waist-length hair for two full weeks. When he finally noticed (which goes to show you how little he cares about my appearance), he had me lay down and spent nearly an hour carefully brushing out my hair until I felt human again. Just one example of how much my husband loves me no matter what! — Melody Joy Cary from www.slowandhomesteady.com
• I love it if my husband calls me in the middle of the day, just to see how I am doing. Or if he goes out of his way to hold my hand or put his arm around me when we are out and about. (Sometimes this is challenging with kiddos running around, but it makes it even more special). — Catherine Wilde from https://simplyjoyfuljourney.com/

Quality time together:

• I feel loved when my husband finds time to plan for our weekend activities. He knows I love to do things with the baby so he makes it sure we have something to do over the weekend. It might be a little drive away from the city, visit some festivals or going to outdoor places such as the Zoo — Mich Merencillo Bražinskas from  https://mamabuzzblog.com/
• My husband is a lawyer so he is super busy with work 24/7. He sleeps very little everyday and when he does get a second to take a break from work, he tries to spend all his time with the kids. But every Saturday, no matter how tired or busy he is, he sets aside time for us to watch a movie on Netflix after the kids go to bed. He says that he misses me and just want to spend time with me. Sometimes I feel bad because he would be running on 2 hours of sleep but he insists that we spend some time together. It’s something little, but considering sleep is probably his favorite thing in the world after me and the kids, it really shows that he loves me. — Betty Boiron from www.mombrite.com
• When he asks if I want to watch a weekend movie or binge on Netflix, takes a single blanket, a pack of crisps, 2 glasses and a bottle of wine, snuggle up and watch together!! — Sunrita Bhattacharyya Dutta from www.spiceitupp.com
• My husband will often bring me cookies or whatever from work, or a coffee if he drives by the place… but weirdly, that’s not my love language. I prefer time, which he doesn’t have a lot of, and I know he really enjoys things that I don’t, like video games and watching sports. So I FEEL the most loved when he just sits and talks to me, because I know he’s choosing that over everything else. I really believe in love languages! –Kaylee Strozyk from www.mamaandmore.com

This list of the little things makes me happy. I don’t know about you, but I feel the love!

And I see some common themes! The bulk of the responses were in the sweet gestures or “acts of service” category, but mamas still wanted bits and pieces from each of the other four.

It appears that many of us want our coffee/tea brought to us, we’d all like a nice sleep-in on the weekends, we appreciate being appreciated, and we enjoy those little hand holds and kisses.

Mamas, show this to your partners!! It’s like a get-rich-quick guideline for investing in your love and marriage. Tell your spouse which of the five themes sounds best to you!

What little things would you be so happy for your partner to do and what would make you feel loved??

You may also enjoy this post! What Your Partner CAN Do To Help When You’re Newly Postpartum